Monday

Tamer Washburn

Born 4 July 1805 in New York
Married Abraham Washburn
Died 4 September 1886 in Nephi

1850 Census
1860 Census
1880 Census

Tamer is Abraham's first wife.  We are descended through Abraham's wife Flora Clarinda Gleason.

You can read a lot about Tamer online, but I thought these stories from this biography of her daughter Mary Ann were interesting:

...As for Tamer, her strictness in the practice of religion was to become the stuff of family legend. She was staunch in her application of the Quaker code of conduct: the Sabbath was inviolable; prayer and worship were mandatory; in matters of attire, extravagance was to be shunned...

In about 1836 or 1837, Orson Pratt was making his way through the lower Hudson River Valley, on a proselytizing tour. During his travels he preached the strange new American religion called Mormonism to the Washburn family. By the time Pratt arrived in Sing Sing (now Ossining), Abraham (like his brother Jacob) had already been through one conversion, exchanging Quakerism for Methodism and persuading his family to follow suit. Tamer, now faced with yet another potential change, reacted to the new itinerant preacher with righteous indignation.

Determined that Mormonism was a dangerous deception, "she turned on Brother Pratt and poured out the venom of her wrath in no gentle tones. Her husband tried in vain to soothe her." Orsons Pratt's famous brother, Parley P. Pratt, baptized Abraham on 6 Feb 1838, in spite of Tamer's strong initial opposition. Her conversion is said to have come soon after an evening meeting conducted by Orson Pratt and attended by Abraham, during which a message came saying that Tamer had fainted, or, as in one account, that she was "in a terrible nervous condition on account of his being at a Mormon meeting." As Abraham made ready to leave to attend to his troubled wife Brother Pratt said, "Be of good cheer, Brother Washburn, for in a very short time your wife will be a member of the Church."

It was but a few weeks later that she asked Brother Pratt to baptize her. Tamer's subsequent loyalty to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was unwavering. Animosity toward the Pratts disappeared. Both Parley and Orson Pratt stayed as guests in the Washburn home while preaching in New York, and two of Abraham Washburn's sons would later be named after the renowned Pratt missionaries. Family tradition maintains that the Prophet Joseph Smith himself, during an evening social at the Washburn home, pronounced a blessing upon Tamer's head, assuring her of salvation in the celestial kingdom because of her liberality. One might naturally conclude that Tamer had become a Mormon through and through. But family members recalled how she held to many of her Quaker ways and attitudes for many years after becoming a Latter-day Saint. On one of his visits to the Washburns, Orson Pratt brought his wife along. She was wearing a lace cap ornamented with ribbon and small artificial flowers. "Sister Washburn had not yet sufficiently recovered from her Quaker notions to be able to tolerate these excessive practices, so she asked Sister Pratt to please remove the trimmings from her cap while she remained her guest. To please Sister Washburn, Sister Pratt complied with the request. In years after, Tamer laughed as she related the story, because she herself wore just such little lace caps to the end of her days and enjoyed having them handsomely decorated. "

Just how charitable Tamer was (and how supportive she became of the Pratts and Mormonism) is illustrated by the following anecdote: "Abraham was a prosperous businessman and he gave Tamer a regular allowance of seventy-five dollars a month. She deposited a part of her allowance each month in the bank. Once Orson Pratt was going to England on a mission. He arrived in New York with no money to pay his traveling expenses. Tamer gave him enough money from her savings account to pay his passage to England." Such a gift would have been a considerable sum.

But this year (1837) brought Mary Ann's family not only a new gospel; it brought tragedy as well. Mary Ann's older brother Daniel and their little sister Elizabeth Underhill died. Mary Ann was eight or nine years old at the time, Daniel ten, and Elizabeth three. Tamer had had a dream forewarning her of impending loss. In this dream Tamer "went to heaven. Everything was beautiful and in perfect order. She visited many wonderful places. In beautiful parks she saw many groups of happy children at play. They were in the charge of and their play was supervised by very fine, intelligent women. She came to one group where two of her own children were playing. She was surprised to see them there, and when she looked up inquiringly into the face of the lady who had them in her charge, the lady said, 'Sister Washburn, it is your privilege to see before- hand where your children will be so that the parting will not be so hard.' In a few weeks, the two children died. Sister Washburn said that when they died, she could not shed a tear because the vision was continually before her mind."

...Challenged by their reduced financial circumstances, Mary Ann's parents learned to subsist as they would have to again during the early settling of Manti, Utah. "Tamer often laughingly related the following incident which happened some time before the Saints were compelled to leave ... Nauvoo. She said Abraham was so devout and always asked the blessing on the food, no matter how scarce it happened to be. One morning, when their money was nearly gone, she fried hot cakes for the family breakfast. There was very little to go with them to make the morning meal. She was thoroughly disgusted with such conditions, but after morning prayer, Abraham sat at the table and thanked the Lord for the food and asked Him to bless it, just as he had done when they had plenty. She, at that moment, could see nothing to be thankful for, and when Abraham said amen, she said, 'Oh damn the stuff."

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